And testosterone, let's face it, testosterone gets a bad rap. "Just make the background as out-of-focusy as possible, okay? After nearly eight years with CAA, he's walking away. They want to come over and "talk." Oh, he doesn't want to deal with this. Mason is named after Sean Connery in but the point is, Bay now has nearly a quarter ton's worth of dog, so he has to get a bigger truck; they won't fit in the Yukon, so he's getting a Suburban. And for some reason the phone on this conference table keeps ringing. There is nothing whatsoever wrong with testosterone. " The thing he's noticing is this could very possibly develop into a bad day. He got the Yukon originally to fit Mason because, let's face it, there was no way Mason as going to fit into either of his two Ferraris or his Porsche. She had enemas and all that stuff to get them out—it was so funny. First you see those crotchety old men turn into boys as they relive the horror that defines their lives. There are just so many things you can see before you finally have no choice but to grow up. When you promise to deliver something, and then you deliver it, that just really makes you feel good.
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Then again, it's fair to say that Hollywood is a place where asshole-becoming is an occupational hazard, and so far he has not, thank God, become an asshole. He's driving his silver Ferrari from his Santa Monica office over to Jerry Bruckheimer's compound, where he'll screen footage for his latest movie, problem. "Just keep your head down and keep doing what you do, and you know, sometimes they get to you. In college, he won big awards, went on to film school at Art Center in Pasadena, and soon after got hired by Propaganda Films to shoot music videos and commercials—Nike, Budweiser, Coke, and that Got Milk? You stand there and wonder why it's so important compared to things that happen nowadays, like in Mexico where a landslide can kill fifty thousand people.
It's like, sometimes, it's like —are movies that play well to teenage boys. ad with the guy with the peanut butter in his mouth.
Everyone is there, the crew's waiting, and I'm like, 'Mom, how serious is this?
What happened was his dad got sick in the middle of shooting. She goes, 'I think you should turn around.' And then it's like, you're shooting and it probably costs $200,000 to turn around.
You can't argue with $140 million, you just can't, and this is why Bay got to do the movie that would in turn make Bay the youngest director ever to reach the billion-dollar mark worldwide. ' 'Oh, he's going to wreck it.' It's like, shame on those people, you know? They had to take a foot of his intestine out." So there you have the dogs. Which, come to think of it, is exactly what he's saying now to his agents.
Moving on, this is his office—sorry for the mess—and this is his giant lava lamp, probably the biggest lava lamp you can get, and this is the conference room where we can sit and talk about He wanted to catch his breath.
And while the asshole assumption probably has more to do with his movies than with him personally, it's still, he says, frustrating. His Ferrari is making a most pleasing, guttural roar while simultaneously providing a surprisingly fine toe massage. When he was fifteen, a neighbor helped him get a job in the filing room of Lucas-Film, He filed Yoda pictures. He was like, "Wow, this movie is really going to suck." And he told his friends that, and they all went to see the movie when it came out. He was like, "Holy shit." He was like, "How did this ? But this isn't something he would ever bring up; this is not something he needs. Maybe this was the first time Michael Bay got the taste, like a young man who suddenly finds himself choosing a really good Scotch. "It's like, people die all over the world in earthquakes, whatever, you know, in much huger numbers than at Pearl Harbor. You wonder, You think, Okay, only three thousand people died, but there's something, you know?
This is what his mother tells him, the main point being that he is well aware of the asshole assumption. On Sundays he always went to the movies with his mom, an education counselor, and his dad, an accountant. He was there when Spielberg made He saw some of the storyboards. He didn't fit in, didn't' wear black, didn't suffer the right kind of angst. He shot some student films and proved to be a natural. He was adopted, and supposedly he knows who his biological father is, and supposedly he's a famous movie director.
It's just that the only time you ever really hear anything about it is when there is too much of it. You could just amuse the hell out of yourself and walk away. This, anyway, is how many very intelligent people, including movie critics—who, let's face it, can have a crankiness problem—are conditioned to think. Like he doesn't even know where to begin on this subject. He's greeting the guys in the production studio—his guys, the guys who have been working with him since he got into this business. "Grace here, she just ate three handfuls of rocks," he points out. And my other dog, Mason, he's been opened three times because of eating stuff.