You can only remove so much of the chase from the process, they explained. There was the “artist” I met in a desolate part of Bushwick (this was pre-), who looked more like a meth-addict “after” photo than the handsome guy in the pictures he had posted. One night, I was checking my Nerve e-mail and came across a short message from a chef named Rob. One of my best friends dated a famous chef who cheated on her and broke her heart.
After a few dates, Rob and I mutually agreed to shut down our profiles.
Five years later, I shudder to think I came this Kerry Diamond co-owns Seersucker and Nightingale 9 restaurants in Brooklyn with her boyfriend Robert Newton.
(I was hoping the “la” made me sound continental.) Coworkers said no one would look at my profile. My final go-round I decided to kick the gimmicks and identify myself as girl_5. I like Martha’s: “I’ve been curious about online dating for a long time, but, like lots of people, have been reluctant to take the leap.” It shows vulnerability. “[I’m looking for] someone who’s intelligent, established, and curious; and who relishes adventure and new experiences as much as I do.” There are millions of smart men who will claim to be all those things, but that won’t help if you’re looking for The One.3. There’s a lot of muck to dredge through when it comes to solicitous e-mails. But I’m on a comeback — believe it.” Or, “I find girls that do not shave their armpits attractive. If I had, I could have spent those two hours I wasted with a much-too-old crime reporter from New Jersey who had just asked for a divorce from his Irish lesbian wife who needed a green card, I don’t know, baking banana bread.4. Monty, as I’ve come to call him, looked in his Match photos like an all-American golden boy.
It was all I could muster after nearly a decade doing this. A few I received: “I am socially awkward, overweight and a bit of a contrarian . Is that something you do or would be willing to do from time to time if we hit it off? Well, not armpit guy, but definitely some of the others. His e-mails were flirtatious without being creepy and his Facebook profile—he friended me early on—revealed picturesque vistas from a recent trip to Patagonia with his dad (who looked like Paul Newman). He didn’t text, he didn’t e-mail, he called—an utter rarity in the modern dating world.
What were my non-negotiables and what truly mattered in a mate?
For me, relationships always began with mutual attraction.
The slightly shameful stigma attached to meeting a man on the Internet may be gone, but does online dating work?
In an age when even Martha Stewart has admitted to creating a profile, Kerry Diamond and Emily Holt share their own real-life and online experiences—and sound off on the digital dating divide.
She also is the editorial director of Cherry Bombe, a new magazine about women and food that launched this month.