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My bitterness and resentment made me a prime, self-pitying asshole costs. Like many virgins, I was convinced that doing so would be a cheat or would render it invalid. Long story short different (aside from “holy shit I had sex”). I hadn’t been magically cured of all my ills and insecurities.

It only “counted” if I were able to seduce someone with my own skill and charisma. And my first thought – y’know, besides “lets do it again” – was simply: “Shit. ” That confusion I felt was directly tied to an issue I find a of men have when struggling with their feelings about virginity: the belief that losing their virginity is a major milestone after which everything will be different and better. We fetishize virginity in men his virginity on the other hand…

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We come up with increasingly baroque reasons why we have been uniquely disadvantaged – we’re too “beta”, for example, for the notoriously “hypergamous” women.

The PUAHate forums that Elliot Rodger frequented take this to an almost fascinating extreme, comparing brow ridges and jaw angles and eye space in some sort of unified theory of sexual phrenology.

And one of the best places to start is to talk about sex.

Specifically: male virginity and the shame in ages – talking about the shame and pain of being a male virgin.

Your virginity hangs around your neck like an albatross. Like there’s a great fault within you that’s holding you back but that nobody else seems to have.

What are you supposed to do about the fact that you’re one of the Great Untouched?And believe me, it wasn’t much better for the women I tried to date, either.I hurt a number of people in my quest to get my dick wet and, at the time, I didn’t care.The fear of being “outed” as a virgin becomes a self-perpetuating cycle.They so fear rejection for being virgins that they can’t bring themselves to approach women.We blame others for somehow depriving us of sex, as though it were something we were owed.

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