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They are your priority, and your energy and effort should first be devoted to them.

Even when it’s hard, and especially when it’s easy. Or is your heart completely yielded to your spouse, and ultimately the Lord?

Every time you give to someone else the percentage on that scale changes in their favor.

The more you give to someone else, the less you have for your wife or potential spouse.

*Disclaimers* Yes, you can have friends of the opposite sex.

No, I am not saying this is the say all end all on the debate.

To protect your standards, you must create some boundaries. ” Do you want to protect your marriage and make it the most exciting, challenging, rewarding thing in your life?

For Audrey and I, our boundary is that we don’t hang out alone with anyone of the opposite sex. If so, then don’t make room for relationships that will cause your spouse to doubt, feel jealous, compare themselves, or even feel like they are missing out.

If ignored and dismissed for too long, you’ll be in a relationship too deep to stop.

The good person in you won’t want to hurt them (your opposite-sex friend) or your spouse because neither one deserves to be hurt. These situations can seem complicated, but they are actually quite simple to understand.

My time and effort would have swung more in her favor, instead of Audrey’s.

Although my deepest desire was to have a healthy relationship with Audrey that was progressing towards marriage, my strongest desire was to remain friends with this girl.

Of course there are other situations that may vary. The heart behind this article is to bring light to a topic rarely talked about, and open the inter-webs for healthy discussion on the matter. While Audrey and I were weathering our long-distance relationship and growing further apart, I was hanging out with this girl almost every day, and we were inevitably growing closer together.


  1. Local 67 is the exclusive bargaining unit representing the men and women of the Columbus, Ohio Division of Fire from the rank of Fire Fighter through Assistant Chief.

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