Ultimately, you may be happiest with somebody who has a sexual history that is at least on the conservative side. There is such a thing as other factors out-weighing the sexual history factor (like the fact that they’re crazy about you and complete you in every other way…that does happen).
Say these words to them: “I’m sorry, the more I like you it just gets hard for me to think about your sexual past.
It’s just been bothering me lately, but I’m working through it.
If you keep your head cool and look at this relationship calmly and rationally, you will see that it may not last forever, even though you may want it to. And then all of this stuff about sexual histories will seem kind of silly in retrospect.
Or, on the other hand, you may see that this relationship going to last (in all likelihood), in which case it becomes important for you to work through your concerns with your partner.
Maybe they have slept with a couple of people but only in committed relationships. If you’re a virgin who regularly dates non-virgins, then you’re going to date people who have all kinds of sexual histories.
Maybe they waited for a while but recently started having sex. Some may have balance factors, and some may be completely unbalanced with you (read: lots of torrid sexual history, compared to you).Secretly, your anger won’t be satisfied until you’ve brought them around to your way of thinking and shamed them for the times they stepped away from it. In fact, they their past, or your plan will work and they will feel really horrible about it. If they start defending their past, it’s going to push the two of you farther apart.Their sudden righteous anger will turn your virginity into something that you’re holding over their head; they’ll stop valuing it and respecting you for it as much.As a somebody who is waiting till marriage, you’ve got a lot of pressure on you to find “the one”, so you’re going to have a tendency to try to push every relationship that way.That’s when issues like those mentioned above are going to come into play.You don’t see the person as a whole…you see the perfect wedding night/pure marriage you’ll never be able to have if you stay with them. How they treat you, who they are, and how much you enjoy them should be hugely important factors. Some of those other qualities can be even more rare than virginity. But given that the rest of the world is full of one night stands, casual sex, and “hook up culture”, maybe the fact that your girlfriend/boyfriend has only had sex with one other person in the context of a long term relationship (or whatever) isn’t so bad.. Appreciate that in the grand scheme of things, your girlfriend/boyfriend may be much closer to your sincere, genuine idea of sexuality than he/she is to those “other” people’s warped and soulless view of sex.