However, even with these guidelines, three out of four of our teens had their first real date to the school prom in their junior year at age 17.And those first dates were all with friends, not with someone with whom they were romantically involved.These external behaviors can be a reflection of good parental training.
It takes far more maturity than most 12- to 16-year-olds have to see that words and actions need to match.
Train your teen to look for outward qualities that indicate inner character, like a good reputation at school, a self-controlled mouth, and wise driving habits, to name just a few.
In the fading twilight, the headlights of an approaching car reminded Bill to reach for the dashboard and turn on his lights.
As the horde of rush-hour cars streamed by, Bill reminisced about the teenage daughter he had just picked up from band practice.
He had prayed for an opportunity to talk to her alone—without her three brothers around. “Oh, okay,” Julie replied, in cryptic teenage fashion. “Have you thought through how far you are going to go, physically, with the opposite sex? They wanted to encourage her to make the right ones. He knew his wife always got the mail, but Julie was acting like a basketball team ahead by one point in the fourth quarter, hoping the clock would run out. Our teens do not go out on a date every Friday and Saturday night.
She looked nonchalantly out her window as their car crossed a small bridge. “I would like to ask you a very personal question and give you the freedom not to answer if you don’t want to.” He paused, waiting for her reply. Our junior high and high school age teens don’t date anyone exclusively.
It’s not that our teens were not interested in dates beyond a friendship, but we had talked through the few pros and the many cons of exclusive dating enough that they felt changing the relationship from friendship to romance might ruin the friendship.
Our teenagers would all say that their prom dates were a lot of fun. Many of the parents were involved with before-dance dinners, chaperoning the dance, and hosting after-dance activities at homes or rented facilities.
Inner character can’t be seen at first sight, across a crowded room, when you say your first hello.