In my experience, these relationships that were “wrong” from the start are very hard to repair.Meeting someone when you are more mature, know yourself better and have learned how to have relatively healthy relationships (maybe you have been in therapy by now) certainly can bode well for a promising future together.
Rebound and affair relationships frequently have rescue fantasies attached to them, these fantasies can be overpowering and cloud your vision.
Sometimes relationships that start as affairs serve as an escape from difficult interpersonal dynamics in the primary relationship.
Trust is the foundation of successful relationships.
Another reason why many affair relationships fail is that it is difficult to deeply trust someone who has started the relationship by being unfaithful and deceitful with someone else.
If you deal with the disillusionment by betraying the commitment you have made, then you may not have the tools to navigate this stage which is waiting for you down the road in your new relationship.
Affair Relationships That Have a Better Chance of Success If, however, your primary relationship/marriage was somehow “wrong” from the beginning; if one or both of you weren’t in love, if it was a marriage of convenience, or if it has been mostly miserable or abusive, if it was simply to escape loneliness or have children, that is a different story.
Imagine you or your partner has to go on a lot of out of town business trips some years into the relationship during a time when you are struggling with conflict. There is also the issue of not having the support of family and friends.
Having long-term successful relationships are difficult enough without trying to do them in a vacuum.
Can the two of you exist in a relatively socially isolated situation for some time?
Losing a long-term partner, even if things feel bad, is still a loss and needs to be grieved.
Of course you should not make your decisions based on what others would think or feel.