As someone who considers himself smart and direct, take it from me – there’s nothing wrong with these qualities. I think it’s not that these smart, successful women are exactly those things either, but they are perceived that way by some – not all – of the men they come in contact with.
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So when I hear a woman talk about how “direct” she is, the first thing I think is: “She’s tactless.” I wrote about this in an article for entitled “Are You Honest… ” Self-proclaimed “direct” people often tell their dates what they think about them even if the date didn’t ask.
They often try to change partners who have no desire to be changed. 😉 See, there’s a price to pay for “being ourselves.” And if you’re going to express your opinion, you can’t be surprised if other people disagree with you. Maureen Dowd, the Pulitzer Prize winning columnist for the New York Times, wrote an entire book about this, called “Are Men Necessary? One of her main observations is that if an amazing woman like her could be single, there must be something wrong with men.
These are common attributes of nice guys, yet nice guys think that women don’t like nice guys BECAUSE they’re nice. Again, not EVERY person who is bright is opinionated, and not EVERY person who is funny is sarcastic.
But there’s enough anecdotal evidence to suggest a strong correlation. And if good qualities come with bad qualities, have you considered that yours might as well?
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I don’t know what is going on and why I’m lacking luck in finding Mr. I am educated, refined, and a self made millionaire by age 34. Many men, women, elderly, and children of all ages have told me so.
That’s what women want in men and they assume it’s of equal importance to them. Men DO value intelligence, but they also want from their girlfriend what they CAN’T get from their business associates. If he finds himself constantly hearing all the things he needs to change, he may just determine that he wants a bright woman who is less challenging. But a huge reason I’m with my wife is because she spends her time loving and supporting me, not challenging me on everything from movie tickets, to travel plans, to wake up times. This doesn’t mean you should play dumb, or be weak and needy, no more than the nice guy should start acting like a jackass.