So these people aren’t attracted to trans people because of some physical quality, they aren’t attracted to trans people because they are disgusted by the very idea of transness. They are turned off by the physical reality that transgender women are actually men, no matter how many surgeries or alterations they’ve undergone to make themselves look like women. When a man is interested in a woman, he wants a relationship with an actual woman, not with a man who fantasizes about being a woman.Of course, a man can be attracted to the feminine appearance, but looking like a woman in dress, make-up, or even plastic surgery doesn’t make trans women actual women. He wants a relationship built on an objective reality — that the person he is with is truly, objectively, a woman.Is it bigoted when a straight man says he doesn’t want to date a gay man? Transgenderism is based on self-referential concepts, not on objective truth about one’s body.
“Transphobia can sometimes slide all the way down to justifying the murder of trans women with comments like the ones made by comedian Lil Duval recently on New York’s Power 105.1 FM radio show , in response to what he’d do if he found out a woman he’s been sleeping with was assigned male at birth.” “It’s pretty terrifying to navigate a dating pool where you’re both disqualified from people’s dating preferences when you disclose your trans status up front, but then also threatened with violence when you choose not to share the details of your genitals before the other person can ‘accidentally’ fall in love with you,” Sara continues.
“In this context it makes sense for trans women to wait when you know you’ll be excluded up front, but if you don’t disclose your trans identity instead, you are punished for not telling, possibly by death. It’s almost as if trans people lose either way.” A reason they call straight men who don’t want to date them “transphobic” is that men may be attracted to them until they know the truth.
Straight men, they say, claim they’re not attracted to transgender women, which is why they should know the truth before dating.
The problem is, another trans woman writes, “these people view transness as a mere physical quality that they just aren’t attracted to.” The issue with this logic is that the person in question is obviously attracted to trans people, or else they wouldn’t be worried about accidentally going out with one.
This attack on straight men for their noncompliance was recently expressed in a video produced by Mic.
Cis men are insecure about their attraction to trans women — and now they're spilling the T about dating while trans.#Dating While Trans #Walking While Trans pic.twitter.com/Aef L42o H2z — Mic (@mic) January 4, 2018 “If the idea is that a guy dating a trans woman makes him gay, then what you’re basically saying is that a trans woman is not a woman, she’s like a boy playing dress up,” one trans woman says in the Mic video.
“I think that their view on us is that of a weak boy.
They don’t really see us as women.” The difficulty in finding straight men who will date transgender women has driven some to advocate not telling a date they’re transgender.
I think that their view on us is that of a weak boy. I tend to dress a little bit skimpy, in skimpy things.