Maybe that’s a bit dogmatic but everyone’s got to draw a line somewhere.And if there’s one thing I learnt from my 20s, it’s that I’m not going to waste any of my time on men who won’t even waste a noun on me.The Big Short, the film adaptation of Michael Lewis' book of the same name about the causes of the financial crisis, opens in UK cinemas this weekend.
You can see it there on the horizon – the whole “So where’s this going? The dating game has changed dramatically, and while it used to be as simple as a quick conversation along the lines of “OK, so we like each other, let’s make this official”, there is now a list of new stages in a fledgling relationship that can seem to make things more confusing.
Everything has become a little ill-defined, and I wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve asked yourself these kinds of questions: The early stages of dating should be when you’re having the most fun of all, so don’t let things worry you, because really this is when you should be running through parks holding hands and making slushy PDAs on the tube.
Invariably if the person I’m speaking to has been single at any point in the last decade, then yes, they know exactly what I mean, because if there’s one scenario that’s become endemic amongst myself and my peers, it’s our inability to define a relationship after the first five or six dates. Is it too soon to refer to someone as your boyfriend? If you’ve been on 12 dates with someone, you really don’t still want to be seeing other people do you?
But if you’re not seeing anyone else, and you’re seeing a lot of each other what on earth is it if it’s not a relationship?
“I’ve never willingly called any of the women I’ve been out with my girlfriends – even the ones I’ve lived with.
I always have to be really pushed into making it more serious – but that’s just the way I am, it’s nothing personal.” I’m not sure I buy this – how would his (lucky, lucky) girlfriend feel if she heard him saying, outright, that he hadn’t been too fussed about her when they got together, and that they’re only together now because of her tenacity?
I’m not judging – I can see how easy it is to get into that situation.
Earlier this year, The New York Times published an article called “The End of Courtship?
Maybe I’m being old fashioned and just plain unrealistic to think that I should wait for someone who’s actually interested enough to want to chase me, who knows for certain from the out that they want a relationship with me – and who doesn’t need talking into the bloody thing.
Or maybe I’m just particularly unlucky when it comes to men.
But the fact is – and this is something I’ve had to learn the hard way – if one of you isn’t calling it a relationship, Then. Yes, I could hang around, try and coax them into it, or just generally refuse to go away until it becomes easier for them to give in – but who wants to do that?