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Some might call it guilding the lily; he just calls it fun, and laughs when he does it.

Artwork is from the January 1960 It is a truth universally acknowledged that a hardwood dowel gag, challenging enough to wear, becomes considerably more challenging when secured by iron chains and the common hardware store clevis.

And even worse, it seemed that the harder I tried to be sentimental and lovey-dovey, the less it was reciprocated. Or, once we had a daughter, when I shared the responsibility of watching over her. Because as our marriage progressed, I found myself offering to help out around the house more and more. It took me longer than I care to admit to understand what was happening. Through giving, through doing things for my wife, the emotion that I had been so desperately seeking naturally came about. An emotion that, once had, somehow magically stays within a marriage forever. And I’m saddened to think about how much those messages bounced around in my head for so long.

Why wasn’t I getting reciprocal lovey-doveyness when we were first married? From Disney movies to my favorite shows like “The Office” to practically every pop song released, love is constantly sold as an emotion we have before we’re married.

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But when her captor opens the door to beat her lightly with a stick, before plunging her back into darkness again?

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