Just because “your” friends didn’t hang out with him one-on-one when you were a couple doesn’t make their friendship with him any less genuine.If you were their friend first and foremost, and probably the social planner too, then it makes sense that you’d be the go-between.If it helps, try temporarily deleting your Facebook account so you aren’t tempted to check up on the communications between your friends and your ex.
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Even if your ex genuinely liked your friends, there wouldn’t have been reason to contact them on his own if you were the one making the plans for all of you to get together. And is he supposed to just drop all of these people he’s spent the last four and half years getting to know and build friendships with just because you broke up and they were your friends first?
Do you really think of your friends as “territory,” or property to be divided in a breakup?
That in itself might say something about why your friends seem to suddenly be favoring your ex over you…
Look, you’ve already told your friends how you feel about them remaining friendly with your ex, and through their actions they basically told you it’s not your place to tell them who they can or can’t be friends with. Unless their friendship with your ex is directly compromising friendship with them or making your life or breakup much more traumatic than it has to be, you should probably drop it and MOA.Some just have a hard time adjusting to a new reality that includes a stepmom.Countless stepmoms can’t understand why their partner’s ex refuses to acknowledge them or treat them with basic human decency. You can read about me here, peruse the archives here and read popular posts here.If you don’t find the info you need in this column, please visit the Dear Wendy archives or the forums (you can even start your own thread), or submit a question for advice.Sorting Through Your Feelings Coping with Heartache Moving On Community Q&A Having a friend date your crush can be a difficult social situation to navigate.