I told her which choice made sense to me — based on what she was saying — but I told her whether she agreed or not, she had to make a choice. (I gave her my card and asked her to let me know what she did.) After she walked away, all I was left with was to ponder my own history — and my own devastating loss.I watched the love I wanted and needed get washed away because of my indecision.She was hoping the first woman would be out of the picture and she could finally have me.
She was very much in love with me, and she wanted to marry me. All that was left was breaking the news to the other woman — who had been hoping all along that I’d end up with her.
By early July, I had decided that was what I was going to do. On Saturday, July 5, 2008, I arranged to meet the second woman at a restaurant to talk, so I could break the news.
There’s also a reason that we don’t write many songs about which husband can build you the bigger house. I told her the story that I’ve just told you, and I told her that the worst thing she can do is to keep trying to sit on a fence between them.
As you go through life, it’s the emotional connection and understanding that count. Even if she can’t see how it’s going to happen, trying to have it both ways was going to mean . We had a long and intense conversation Saturday afternoon, but I might never hear from her again.
Almost seven months after that fateful night in early July, the decision was taken out of my hands. It destroyed me in ways that I will never be able to explain to anyone.
The only positive outcome is that it forced me to get really serious with myself and work hard with a good therapist to figure out the reasons why I’d done some of the things I’d done. Even though I’d lost my “true love,” the other woman was still there and waiting.Then we moved to the parking lot of a nearby convenience store. I told the woman I loved that I couldn’t marry her. I just couldn’t get the emotional courage to make the definite choice.(I did finally buy an engagement ring for her, which I still have.) I talked to the other one, too.With one guy, she feels the magical connection that most of us want to feel and that a few of us have felt in a very real way. What’s more, she feels that he needs her far more than she needs him.He’s apparently a great guy who will be a good father and husband — and he’s more financially stable — but the things she likes about him are mostly in her head, not her heart.He needs her — and wants her — so much that she feels guilty.