And yet, most column inches dedicated to advice on how to get the most out of the experience rely on little surface tricks and techniques to make you appear more attractive or desirable.While not in themselves wrong, I believe a slightly deeper approach is needed.So here are my five top tips for having an awesome experience speed dating.1. This is because there’s no better way to break the ice than to have something in common that will start the conversation. Bring a book to the literary event; Play a track to your dates at Stereo Speed Dating; Have a travel story or an idea of your dream destination for travel bug speed dating.
Whenever singles ask me which dating sites to use, I always say you need to think about the men or women you’re attracted to. Which sites attract the most people you’re attracted to? If you’re not that kind of person, or not attracted to that kind of person, then don’t bother with speed dating, because you’ll only be disappointed.
While everyone from PUA’s to advice columnists are keen to give step-by-step practical guidance in how to achieve success at speed dating events, John argues that these mean nothing without a deeper appreciation of how and why such techniques work.
The key to a good singles event is organising something which men WANT to go to.
And that is not being sat in a crappy bar, on the quietest night of the week, being forced to talk to 20 women.
I’ve even seen a woman raise her score sheet above her head at the end of the night, and demonstratively rip it to shreds … I’ve seen men break down in tears, struggle to find conversation topics to last 4 minutes, and most recently one guy admitted he came regularly to speed dating events because it’s the only time women will talk to him!
Even if you aren’t the most socially confident person, speed dating can be more of a bane, because the nature of it – a short 4 or 5 minute judgment, sitting face on with a stranger in a forced environment – can make it feel like an interview, and make you even more nervous and awkward.And so you often end up with a load of attractive, sociable women, talking to more awkward, a-sociable men, who they would never normally speak to. The guys (who most often turn up awkwardly on their own) are out of their depth, and the women end up disappointed.I’ve seen women walk out of speed dating events before they even start.And organising something that doesn’t feel like an interview – an activity where you engage with others more naturally. If not, then don’t go – go to something he or she finds fun instead.Ice-breakers are useful, but you want to be sideways on and doing something which you can chat about, not forced to sit face to face in clinical booths, literally judging each other on a slip of paper. If you have a certain ‘type’, then look at your friends, and find the friend who most resembles that type of person. Yes, speed dating can work – but only if you’re the type of person who NEEDS a bell and a tick sheet to talk to a stranger for 4 minutes (but won’t get intimidated by the situation).Dating columns and lifestyle magazines are cottoning on to the re-emergence of speed dating as the best way to meet people.