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Physically, they walk, cycle and have plenty of sex.

In France, women are comfortable and open about their sexuality. Elderly women in their 60’s and 70’s speaking freely about their dating preferences, their libido and how to achieve an orgasm. I guess nobody wants to know or imagine that older people are still sexual beings with needs. Here’s the lowdown based on three years of people watching and tireless research on contemporary French Fashion blogs.

Personal appearance and style makeover needed a.s.a.p.

Granted they weren’t exactly flannelette PJ's, but they were undoubtedly of the comfort-clothes variety (also know as ‘passion killers’ where I come from).

“It is always better to be slightly underdressed.” Coco Chanel Thanks Coco.

Even though there's probably no hope for me, it’s not too late for you - providing you need help, that is. As far as their diet is concerned, French women don't let themselves gain weight, preferring to stay en forme by whatever means possible.

They don't snack between meals and the meals themselves are nothing to get excited about in terms of portion size.

The reason as to why I look like yesterday’s breakfast stems from my rebellious nature of not wanting to fit in, preferring to dress for comfort in boyish-type clothing.

Obviously, and much to my distress, this is the exact opposite of what happens in the land of the femme fatale.

By the time I finished my sub-conscious self-mutilation frenzy, I resembled none other than Anne Parillaud from La Femme Nikita (during the psycho straight-jacket scene in the film).

Throughout this little chapter, my husband quietly surveyed the situation, one eye on the bathroom door and another on the TV - probably hoping that my hormones would soon settle. None of this reads like a successful physical transformation, I know, but don’t fret.

They shop at chain stores as much as anybody else but they buy less, preferring quality, investment pieces to the latest fad quantity.

In other words, things that will last the time as opposed to high fashion pieces made in Chinese sweatshops, guaranteed to disintegrate before they outlive their ‘cool’ status.

In Australia, one is used to slipping on the first thing one finds in the morning and accessorizing the look with a pair of well-worn flip-flops when heading anywhere - be it the supermarket, the city or the beach.

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