The difference between men and women is that, if given the choice between saving the life of an infant or catching a fly ball, a woman will automatically choose to save the infant, without even considering if there’s a man on base. The flaw in that theory is that it just may not be in a guy’s nature to be a pursuer, aggressor and seducer; yet he could still be a caring, empathetic, nurturing, emotionally available partner.
If and when a hunter decides to “retire” from hunting and get married, he chooses a woman he can possess for her beauty, not one he can build an emotionally intimate partnership with. And if you think those qualities make a man less masculine, well, then that’s part of the problem.
You fear a person will leave you, and because of that fear, you act in such a way that finally causes the person to actually leave.
If a woman wants to be swept off her feet by a man who would also make a good lifetime partner, she is apt to be disappointed.
The greater his autonomy, self-knowledge, and self-confidence, the greater the likelihood he will feel worthy of being with an attractive woman.
In short, a nice guy has to stop dreaming and start doing the inner work that so many guys are reluctant to do.
A nice guy’s worst nightmare is hearing those nine soul-crushing words, “But I think of you as just a friend.” Many happy couples have built relationships on the bedrock of solid friendship, so perhaps it may be wise to rethink what makes good partner material and be open to finding it from unexpected sources.
Which brings up the question: Can men and women truly be friends?
Conversely, the less attractive the man, the less likely he will approach a woman who is far more attractive than he is. The kind of man who values emotional intimacy often looks at a beautiful woman and thinks, “She’s out of my league.” That is the overwhelming reason why so many women are wondering why nobody (or at least nobody worth going out with) ever asks them out.
That said, are there nice guys who are attractive enough and/or courageous enough to ask out a beautiful woman? Essentially, seducers view a woman’s beauty as an invitation; nice guys view it as a deterrent.
When a beautiful woman gets fed up that only hunters are approaching her and decides to turn the tables by approaching a nice guy, she may be turned off by the reception she gets.