But there’s another kind I see all the time in relationships everywhere that goes less recognized: men who sit too long on the emotional fence in a relationship, wasting precious years of their partner’s time before ultimately heading for the door.I’m calling to task the men who have been on the fence since very early in the relationship, and yet stay in that same position for years on end, and then finally call it off later for the same misgivings they had years earlier.
I’m calling to task the men who have been on the fence since very early in the relationship, and yet stay in that same position for years on end, and then finally call it off later for the same misgivings they had years earlier. To me there’s a statute of limitations to which you can cite a particular issue as the reason for exit, and the clock starts ticking the first time you mentally decide, “Hmm, this is a pretty big problem for me.”Once you have that concern, I think, as a man, you have a specific moral obligation to be forthcoming about it and do one of two things: 1) raise your concerns with your partner and attempt to reconcile them, or 2) recognize that, if you think this incompatibility is not “fix-able,” that, you have to get the check and head for the door.
If she’s looking for “the one” and thinks you’re it, it’s a crime of the heart to stay with her if you know you’re inevitably going to leave.
It’s a rather grave one, and one we don’t want to make lightly.
Leaving someone is rarely a move you can take back.
There are lots of ways men mistreat women, as is frequently discussed in various sites like The Good Men Project.
The more obvious kinds—like psychological or physical abuse, or the emotional manipulation discussed in Yashar Ali’s insightful Why Women Aren’t Crazy—get a fair bit of attention, and deservedly so.They rob their partners of life’s most precious resource. To be fair, I admit, I’ve been this guy myself at times, to some degree.While I’ve never wasted “years” of a woman’s life, I have stayed in things longer than I should have, and I’m trying to never be that guy again.And that act of flouting our own instincts will make us less able to follow them down the road when the real Mrs. So , my fellow men, and get the hell out of the relationships you truly don’t believe you can finish.You’re not doing your partner any favors, and you’re probably interfering with your own future chances at romance, too. So when it comes to relationships, gentlemen: no stealing allowed. But it took me another 3 months to finally break it off. Because I genuinely cared for her and didn’t want to break her heart.