3) Is marriage likely to help (by making her less anxious) or make things worse (say, going from sex once every two or three weeks to once every two or three months? This has been bugging me lately so I’d be very grateful for any advice you can give! You are going to have the exact same problems you had before you got married as you did afterwards.Best, Confused And Confounded Before I get to literally anything else, let’s address one important point. One of the mistakes that a of people make is assuming that if they get married, their relationship problems will go away. The only difference is that now you have legal and financial entanglements that will make navigating things even trickier if you realize your relationship isn’t going to work. That out of the way, let’s deal with your sex life, C&C. What it differences between how men and women come to sexual arousal; men tend to have an active arousal pattern while women have a responsive pattern.The American Association of Sexual Educators, Counselors and Therapists has a great referral directory to help you find a counselor in your area.
What’s the best way to try to get the spark back in our relationship without bugging her to death about having sex more often (I hate doing that)?
Or is it possible she’s just no longer attracted to me in spite of what she says?
Qualifier: “that much” obviously depends on who you ask and what they call “that much”.
Let’s just say that we have sex on average maybe once every two-three weeks and earlier this year somehow managed to go a month and a half without getting it on.
She has a tough time getting in the mood, nowadays she usually has to read some online erotica for half an hour or so before she can get in the mood to have sex.
Consequently, she doesn’t like to have sex very often, and I feel bad bugging her to have sex all the time.
That’s not down to me — ideally I would have sex twice a week but once a week works.
My girlfriend, on the other hand, finds sex very anxiety-inducing because of her insecurities about her appearance.
An open relationship isn’t really an option — it’s not something that would work for either of us.