The raw surprise of a feeling almost perfectly mirrored a memory of how I’d stumbled onto .
My hands went to my hair, my arms vertical bars in my field of vision, walling me off from reality, from empty shells, lies, fakes. “Deep breaths, like you said,” the fake Lillian told me. You know how to handle this.” This is the world I live in, with primordials and shells both empty and filled with the wrong things, with war and violence and things I should be more scared of, but I buried those things a long, long time ago, with the worst of the pain But the memories of Gordon came to me, hitting me, and flowed like the tears did.
I might have expected the glare of death from Lillian, but no. Lillian only stared at me like she might stare at a great warbeast that was about to trample her. She might have felt like any sort of emotional hit right now could have shattered her to pieces. I’d brought her to happy tears with what I bought her, which was good. What did it say that staring at Hubris and Gordon was the least painful of the three options available to me? Pain so severe the body Hubris’ ears went up, even though he didn’t lift his chin from Gordon’s chest. They’ll revert over time, but a small fraction of it will be permanent. It wasn’t scar tissue, exactly, but more a lesion, an accumulation of minerals and byproducts. A moment of And the flood of wyvern, across the membrane at the exterior of the brain, then seeping into the brain itself, my senses screaming at me, my body rebelling.
more clearly, I guess.” “The way they put it was that you became, quote, ‘an absolute little bastard to deal with.’ From what I saw, I’m not sure I disagree, Sy.” “Like I said, the personality is the same,” I said. I’m doing the ratios and numbers in my head, going by my body weight, seven point eight stone-” I made a sound, then immediately realized my mistake. Her defenses were down, her emotions raw with a friend and near-family member lying dead a matter of feet away. Somewhere along the line it stopped being about the present. Now I was here, holding Lillian as she endured the worst pain of her life, fighting to keep her from throwing herself back and away and cracking her head on the floor, her fingernails digging into my ribs. Looking at Jamie was too painful after any length of time. It had been a while since I’d had that violent a reaction. I found myself disagreeing with the Sylvester of twenty minutes ago, who had argued with Lillian about the personality after Wyvern. I felt repulsed by my reaction to Lillian, and that let the mind take the helm. Jamie spoke, “Be careful about the changes you make, Lillian. I felt the needle balk as it hit the scar, even though I didn’t feel the hit myself.
Not so deep a fall, but it felt like an especially steep climb, this time around.
I kept a little of that darkness with me as I surfaced. I looked at Lillian, who was disheveled, her eyes intense and wide, and at Jamie, his face in shadow, the lenses catching a bit of the firelight. I embraced the emotions, and was glad that they listened to me.
“Think of that moment, recall that rush, the tension, all of the good parts, like how glad you were that you studied this or that. That made Hayle sit up and take notice by being an excellent student.” I looked up at Jamie, then away, down at Gordon. But know what you want, and be conscious of what you’re taking and what you’re giving up. Move on to the pain of losing Gordon-” Her fingernails dug into my ribs again, her chin dug into my shoulderblade. Respect it, don’t squash it, but remove it from the part of yourself that is functioning right now.” Another deep breath, another slow exhalation. “Thank you,” she said, “For being so gentle with me.” I nodded. She touched the side of my face, then pulled away, extricating herself from me.
The part that Mary respects, that respect, that makes you an integral part of the Lambs. She also has doubts, she holds back, and she worries. “You won’t be able to make the changes all at once.
The four of us ducked out of the building and into the streets of shadow and fire.
Tonight we started with a game of cat and mouse where the mice had no choice but to fight.
Gen.; Deut.; Ps.2; 110; Is.9:1-7; 11:1-5; 49:5-7; -; Dan.-14; Zech.13:1).
Judgment, Restoration and Replacement I: Positional Victory (Progeny and Promise) 1. Just as each human life is divided into two distinct phases, the acceptance of Christ (or rejection of God) being the fundamental turning point, so God has ordered human history in such a way that the appearance of His beloved Son to effect salvation through His death on the cross forms "the conjunction of the ages" (Heb.; cf. Throughout the Old Testament period, the promise of a coming Savior was clearly given by God, "at many times and in many ways" (Heb.1:1; cf.
“I need you to depress the syringe when it’s in place. I don’t know why you’re pretending you’re heavier than you are, but… I’d realized I hadn’t known enough to buy her clothes and made it a personal challenge to figure it out. three-three-nine, then I think of Damian’s second chart, and…” I waited patiently. She showed me the syringe, thumbnail at one of the lines etched into the glass. It would have distracted me, and it would have freed me to focus on the mission over anything else. Jamie took the bowl, so I didn’t have to contort myself to find a position where I could set it down without spilling it. But she had said she felt closer to me, and my head was recognizing that I felt oddly distanced from her. The mind and body warred with one another, and in the midst of that war, Gordon was the tiebreaker. She was more sure about it than I was, the insertion of the needle sure and straight.