The four of us ducked out of the building and into the streets of shadow and fire.
Tonight we started with a game of cat and mouse where the mice had no choice but to fight.
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Not so deep a fall, but it felt like an especially steep climb, this time around.
I kept a little of that darkness with me as I surfaced. I looked at Lillian, who was disheveled, her eyes intense and wide, and at Jamie, his face in shadow, the lenses catching a bit of the firelight. I embraced the emotions, and was glad that they listened to me.
The shadows of the temple ritual and the Mosaic Law are fulfilled in Him and His work, and give way to the reality of Him, resurrected and exalted at the right hand of God.
Satan's Reaction: The temptation and fall of Adam and Eve II. The Three Wilderness-Pilgrimage Eras of Human History a. All human history funnels down to this point, and expands forth from it.
The raw surprise of a feeling almost perfectly mirrored a memory of how I’d stumbled onto .
My hands went to my hair, my arms vertical bars in my field of vision, walling me off from reality, from empty shells, lies, fakes. “Deep breaths, like you said,” the fake Lillian told me. You know how to handle this.” This is the world I live in, with primordials and shells both empty and filled with the wrong things, with war and violence and things I should be more scared of, but I buried those things a long, long time ago, with the worst of the pain But the memories of Gordon came to me, hitting me, and flowed like the tears did.
“Think of that moment, recall that rush, the tension, all of the good parts, like how glad you were that you studied this or that. That made Hayle sit up and take notice by being an excellent student.” I looked up at Jamie, then away, down at Gordon. But know what you want, and be conscious of what you’re taking and what you’re giving up. Move on to the pain of losing Gordon-” Her fingernails dug into my ribs again, her chin dug into my shoulderblade. Respect it, don’t squash it, but remove it from the part of yourself that is functioning right now.” Another deep breath, another slow exhalation. “Thank you,” she said, “For being so gentle with me.” I nodded. She touched the side of my face, then pulled away, extricating herself from me.
The part that Mary respects, that respect, that makes you an integral part of the Lambs. She also has doubts, she holds back, and she worries. “You won’t be able to make the changes all at once.
“I need you to depress the syringe when it’s in place. I don’t know why you’re pretending you’re heavier than you are, but… I’d realized I hadn’t known enough to buy her clothes and made it a personal challenge to figure it out. three-three-nine, then I think of Damian’s second chart, and…” I waited patiently. She showed me the syringe, thumbnail at one of the lines etched into the glass. It would have distracted me, and it would have freed me to focus on the mission over anything else. Jamie took the bowl, so I didn’t have to contort myself to find a position where I could set it down without spilling it. But she had said she felt closer to me, and my head was recognizing that I felt oddly distanced from her. The mind and body warred with one another, and in the midst of that war, Gordon was the tiebreaker. She was more sure about it than I was, the insertion of the needle sure and straight.